Unforgiving and in Need of Grace

There’s a profound beauty in praying the Examen at the end of each day. It allows us to reflect on the blessings and graces that fill our lives—moments of undeserved goodness, purely by God’s grace.

Yet, this prayer also acts like a mirror, reflecting not only the good but also the shortcomings and failings within us. The hope is that over time, the reflective nature of this prayer extends beyond the minutes we spend in silence; it weaves itself into our subconscious, subtly influencing our daily interactions.

I recently experienced such a moment during an 'altercation' with my sons, affectionately known as the 'sons of thunder.'

After a long and trying day—polite code for mounting frustrations between us—I reached my limit. The last straw might have been their cannonball antics in the bathtub, a recurring theme in our household drama.

In my exasperation, I found myself repeating those classic, ineffectual parenting lines: "C'mon guys, you know better. I told you not to do that. What were you thinking?"

It was then, in the heat of that moment, that a sobering realization hit me: I was acting like the unforgiving servant.

In my prayers, I frequently ask the Lord for mercy and patience, despite knowing better, despite having been reminded repeatedly of His expectations for me.

Yet there I was, withholding the same mercy and patience from my own children—those little ones entrusted to my care, who so clearly need tenderness and love.

Why share this? Because while the daily Examen often reveals the less flattering aspects of our character, it also opens the door to profound graces: God’s forgiveness and the true conversion of heart—a turning away from our faults towards His mercy.

This prayerful practice doesn’t just highlight where we fall short; it illuminates the path to better ourselves, to embrace the grace offered to us, and to extend that grace to others, especially those closest to us.